Mediocrity

18 commentsWriting

Last summer’s foot­steps have been washed away.

I’m 34. I have expe­ri­ence, friends, and nice things. I’ve been to places and met peo­ple. And yet, I have achieved noth­ing. If I die today, all that will remain is a hand­ful of mem­o­ries among a hand­ful of peo­ple. While I’m thank­ful for the mem­o­ries and the peo­ple, it’s not enough.

I want to leave my trace in con­crete, not in watery pud­dles on the beach. Over the past two years I’ve seen it all: the best and worst of myself, the tide and ebb, and the dead calm in between. Now my foot­steps tread a sog­gy mid­dle­ground of ter­ri­fy­ing medi­oc­rity that’s wet enough to be marked but not dry enough to endure.

This thought keeps me awake at night, and keeps me from wak­ing up in the morn­ing. I toss and turn between crum­pled bed­sheets for many sleep­less nights and sleep­filled days.

But I’ll wake up one sun­ny morn­ing. My only hope is that you’ll be here when I do.

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

Nado-san May 12, 2010 at 4:08 pm

It's like you're inside my twisted little head and tormented little heart, and you see me so clearly, and you draw me perfectly with achingly beautiful words.

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Meedo May 12, 2010 at 4:10 pm

You me same same. x

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Corinne May 12, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Achieved nothing??? That statement is as false as they come. I think you and I both know this. If you believe this blog to be true, I will give you one thing Meedo. You are phenomenally skilled at self-deception. Either way, in the end all that anyone will remember is kindness, and compassion, and you my friend have exceeded in that category.

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Meedo May 12, 2010 at 4:23 pm

Kindness and compassion are for sissies! Meedo big strong macho man. Kick wall, wall go ouch.

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Samsam May 12, 2010 at 6:42 pm

I hope that too my love <3

I second Corinne's comment x

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monataha May 12, 2010 at 11:03 pm

You think you have achieved nothing??!! how wrong you are. Before these past two years, you were digging and digging to have a strong base that will be able to hold up high this big future that you want for yourself. May be you did not achieve at 34 what you had planned for, but since now you are thinking to be a man with a concrete trace iam sure that your concrete steps have started and what will make you go on and on with larger and bigger and faster,but more persistent and unshaky footsteps,is that you want to enjoy this with the people that you love around you. so let us enjoy you meedo and enjoy all the talents that you have and the ones that you have not brought them out yet. WE love you and we believe in you and iam sure that you believe in yourself more.

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Meedo May 13, 2010 at 2:00 am

Thanks Mom, that means a lot to me. I'll remember your comment and read it again every week.

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SOOLY May 13, 2010 at 7:30 am

You are the amazing man you are now because of your past.
You are planning and structuring. Soon you will build, achieve, and be proud.

Continu a te defouler en ecrivant.

S.

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noura May 19, 2010 at 7:52 pm

Well you sure have one talent: it's to make people smile...be it with ur photos, your blog, ur words, ur feelings or ur presence...and i still haven't met u yet in person....:)
i wish i had half YOUR talent, mister!

<3 <3 <3

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Meedo May 19, 2010 at 7:58 pm

Thanks for stopping by Noura. You're very sweet, and way too modest! x :)

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Dima June 2, 2010 at 8:50 pm

Dearest Meedo,

Did I ever tell you what an amazing teacher you are?
I learned so much from you that I couldn't possibly pick up in four years of GD.
Your organization skills,your dedication to making ideas come through, your sense of humor, your permanent availability for help has changed the way I see cinema, space, architecture, art & ultimately my outlook on the entire creative process. You have achieved much more than you give yourself credit for, you just probably don't know it or won't admit it to yourself.
my warmest regards and appreciation.

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Meedo June 2, 2010 at 8:55 pm

Thanks Dima that means a lot to me... especially today. I'm proud and happy to have had the chance to spend a semester with all of you, and always keep up with what you've been doing.

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Dima June 2, 2010 at 11:50 pm

Dearest Meedo,

Did I ever tell you what an amazing teacher you are?
I learned so much from you that I couldn't possibly pick up in four years of GD.
Your organization skills,your dedication to making ideas come through, your sense of humor, your permanent availability for help has changed the way I see cinema, space, architecture, art & ultimately my outlook on the entire creative process. You have achieved much more than you give yourself credit for, you just probably don't know it or won't admit it to yourself.
my warmest regards and appreciation.

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Meedo June 2, 2010 at 11:55 pm

Thanks Dima that means a lot to me... especially today. I'm proud and happy to have had the chance to spend a semester with all of you, and always keep up with what you've been doing.

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Mona Taha June 3, 2010 at 10:57 am

I agree with your student Meedo.I thing you should start giving a credit to yourself and start using your skills for your own good.You are an amazing son,but the only thing that is missing in you is to be good and caring to Meedo himself and know that with the skills that you have you can take Meedo to a great success,which iam sure is coming,but you just need to enlarge your steps and speed them up and do not worry they are concret already coz i know my son and i believe in him and i believe that he is only working to be a great successful person in what he knows.Love you xoxo

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Mona Taha June 3, 2010 at 1:57 pm

I agree with your student Meedo.I thing you should start giving a credit to yourself and start using your skills for your own good.You are an amazing son,but the only thing that is missing in you is to be good and caring to Meedo himself and know that with the skills that you have you can take Meedo to a great success,which iam sure is coming,but you just need to enlarge your steps and speed them up and do not worry they are concret already coz i know my son and i believe in him and i believe that he is only working to be a great successful person in what he knows.Love you xoxo

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Tarek and Zeina September 17, 2010 at 2:33 am

You are what you are.... a potentially great achiever....so just wait and your potential will soon guide you along.
Dad, from the desk of Zeina and Tarek

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Tarek and Zeina September 17, 2010 at 5:33 am

You are what you are.... a potentially great achiever....so just wait and your potential will soon guide you along.
Dad, from the desk of Zeina and Tarek

Reply

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